“Fear is the most powerful, natural and primitive human emotion”
Fear has a very strong effect on our mind and body, the more we fear something, the more energy we give it, the more we manifest it.
Fear is a natural response to a threat that can be either perceived or real. It creates strong signals when we are in emergencies i.e. caught in a fire or being attacked and it can also take effect when we are faced with non-dangerous events i.e. exams, public speaking, a new job, a date, or even a party. What you are afraid of and how you act when you are afraid of something can vary from person to person. Just knowing what makes you afraid and why can be the first step to dealing with your fears.
Some people become overwhelmed by fear and go out of their way to avoid situations that might make them frightened. Alternatively, some people learn to feel less fearful and to cope with fear so that it doesn’t stop them from living. Lots of things make us feel afraid. Being afraid of some things i.e. fires, can in fact keep you safe. However, fearing failure can make you try to do well so that you won’t fail, but it can also stop you doing well if the feeling is too strong.
For years so much of my own behaviour was driven by one of my biggest fears; the perception other people had of me and I don’t think I am on my own with this one. The reality is that this is a genuine fear that many people possess, which is heightened nowadays by social media which acts as a mirror for these fears. In truth, most decisions I made in life were dictated by that fear. I was terrified to try anything new, to think outside the box, to express myself and to be myself.
Thankfully now it is a fear that no longer exists as I have accepted, understood, and moved on from that fear. I don’t live my life anymore through the perception of others. I don’t care about what other people think anymore. It’s taken a long time to release myself from that fear. To do this, you must ask yourself these questions; what would I think of myself in years to come if I constantly let other people live my life for me, what would I think of myself if I constantly stayed in my lane so I don’t disturb, annoy or put anyone else out or make anyone else think that I’m different or that I don’t follow the norm. The fact is that we are not here for a long time so, we can choose to be crucified with that fear or make the most of our time, while we can!
Fear has a pretty bad reputation at times, when in actual fact fear is crucially important to us as it motivates us, and it keeps us focused. Fear is one of the most important human traits we have and maybe we need to change how we view fear. In other words, we need to reframe our fear by changing the relationship we have with it and how we let it affect us. We have to understand fear, where it comes from, why it exists, why our past and our past psychology make us fear certain things but not other things.
At times it doesn’t feel comfortable but then again fear isn’t meant to be comfortable. We can’t live our whole life stuck in our comfort zone. So, now we need to let go of the fear that’s holding us back. Stop worrying about what other people think. Do what feels right in your gut, listen to that gut, it knows the truth. There’s enough in life to be scared and fearful for. There are real dangers in this world and we have to be cautious, but the reality is one of those dangers should not be other people’s perception of you and if they have a problem with you, the real problem is with them.
So, today, be whatever you want to be, without judgement or fear of what other people think of you. Make decisions based on passion not fear.
|If you feel that your fears are consuming your life, especially for long periods of time, it is worth reaching out and speaking to someone.
Reach out, do not suffer alone & remember…
“It’s Okay not to be Okay & It’s absolutely Okay to ask for help!”
The article is written by Leanne, Newly Qualified Counsellor at The DMC Clinic. If you would like to discuss how any of the topics mentioned above are impacting your mental health, please contact The DMC Clinic to arrange an appointment.