“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield
2020 has been a year for the history books! One I have no doubt we will be talking about for decades to come. But what story will you tell? Will you focus only on the bad times or celebrate all the good things you experienced despite the craziness of everything that happened this year? The thing is…You choose the story you tell. It’s up to you to decide which details you want to focus on and which you let go of. Which brings us to this month’s Blog Inspo on – “The Power of Letting Go”, and what better time than at the start of a brand spanking new year – 2021, we have never been so ready!
Replaying the past over and over again doesn’t change it, and wishing things were different doesn’t make it so. All you can do is accept whatever it is you’re holding on to and then let it go. That’s how everything changes. You have to let go of what is hurting you, even if it feels almost impossible. Deciding to hold on to the past will hold you back from creating a strong sense of self — a self that isn’t defined by your past, but rather by who you want to be.
When you focus only on the “bad,” you develop a negative perspective that will make you think that things are much worse than they actually are. The challenge is to look back on the year you just survived and reframe the experience to focus on the positive so that when you remember 2020, you think, “Wow, I can’t believe I did that!” instead of “Ugh, this year really sucked”.
When times get tough it can be all too easy to feel helpless. After all, it seems like there’s so much in life that we are powerless to control. For many people, that’s enough to prompt them to give up all together and spend their lives reacting to things that happen rather than making things happen. But while we cannot control many of the events that happen in our lives i.e. a global pandemic, we can always control how we respond. It’s our response to events that determines the outcomes we get in life! So instead of letting the events of this past year disempower you, find your power in everything that you survived, all of the good experiences you had, and all of the ways you managed to thrive this year.
If you find it hard to let go of the past i.e. a bad relationship, a grudge etc., why not try the following;
- Understand that the relationships you thought you’d have are going to be different than the ones you actually have.
- Don’t be invested in the outcome when it comes to dealing with people, because it often leads to disappointment.
- Don’t live in chains when you have the key. We live with self-limiting beliefs that we let define who we are.
- Let go of the idea that you can control others’ actions. We really only have control over ourselves and how we act.
- Only worry about what you think of yourself.
- Leave room for mistakes.
- Accept the things you cannot change.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Do what scares you.
- Express what works for you.
- Allow yourself to feel negative emotions.
- Learn forgiveness.
Carl Jung said; “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”.
In other words, try to let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back. Soon enough you will probably realize that you are not what other people say you are. You are not your pain, your past, or your emotions. It’s the negative ideas about ourselves and our hurtful self-talk that get in the way of who we really want to be. Being able to let go requires a strong sense of self, which gives you the ability to learn and grow from your experiences. When you focus on the positive, life becomes more positive. And that will make it so much easier for you to see possibilities, recognize opportunities, and take optimistic action that will help you achieve your goals in 2021!
“Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes to see the light.”
– Dan Brown
|If you are feeling down for long periods of time over the next few weeks or feel like you are stuck in a rut that you just cannot get out of, it is worth speaking to someone about how you are feeling. Reach out, do not suffer alone & remember…
“It’s Okay not to be Okay & It’s absolutely Okay to ask for help!”
The article is written by Leanne, Newly Qualified Counsellor at The DMC Clinic. If you would like to discuss how any of the topics mentioned above are impacting your mental health, please contact The DMC Clinic to arrange an appointment.