After more than 18 months my time at The DMC Clinic is coming to an end for now. And it has stirred up a lot of emotions in me. Pride – in the work we have done. Regret – that there may have been more to do. Fear – of what comes next. Grateful – for everything I’ve learned and experienced. It has got me thinking of how ‘endings’ of relationships are always difficult. Whether it be friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships, close family relationships or the therapeutic relationship in counselling, they are always tricky to navigate.
The difficulty emerges due to the ‘rupture’ of what has potentially become comfortable, safe, or understood for some. Or a relationship that could have been convenient, a safety net or a crutch for others. But either way it is really important to work through any emotions so that they don’t keep pulling at you when it’s over. It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that, what was a part of your life, is now in the past. And without spending the time to address it, the breakup may not be easy to make peace with.
What makes things worse is that information about that person or place is likely to be readily available these days. Facebook posts, or chats on Whatsapp can bring that relationship hurtling back into your present. That is why, by spending time with the array of feelings that are present, we can help someone let go of them. It could be a sense of loss, grief, anger or disappointment. All of them deserve to be ‘heard’ and gently worked through. At The DMC Clinic, Relationship Counselling is often required by clients whose current relationships are often anchored by their past relationships. Or even worse, contaminated by them.
While the overriding emotion for me presently is pride, it is closely followed by fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of change are very present, and I am reminded of one of the earliest blogs that I wrote at the DMC. Overcoming Fear – The DMC Clinic
It is important in these times of change that we take advantage of all the personal development work we’ve done in the past. I don’t need to know the answers of how things are going to be in the future. The skill is to simply be ok with question. In doing so the fear of what’s to come dissipates slightly.
For me this is therapy in a nutshell. Working on letting go of the emotional anchors of the past, while not needing to be so certain of everything in the future. Combining these two things can help us to live better in the present. Maybe this is the same for any relationship changes that people go through. Spending time so you can move on from the past relationships, while at the same time working on not being fearful of the future without that relationship in your life.
I’d like to take the time to thank Ruth and the team for all their support and guidance since joining. Also, thank you to the clients with whom I worked at The DMC Clinic. It was a privilege to witness the work done, and to be able to accompany you on the journey.
Best of luck. Take care of yourselves.
The article is written by Noel, Newly Qualified and Pre-Accredited Counsellor at The DMC Clinic. If you would like to discuss how any of the topics mentioned above are impacting your mental health, please contact The DMC Clinic to arrange an appointment.