I have spoken about the Sound Relationship House in previous blogs (and have attached it below). It starts off with the foundation layer known as building your love map. Love maps are simply knowing the little things about your partner’s life which creates a strong foundation for your friendship and intimacy.
When I meet a couple for the first time in couples counselling, usually they are in crisis and so I do not know what their love map consists of. When I enquire how they met, it is nice to get an insight about how their relationship started. It is also amazing when I ask a couple to talk about when they first met – their body language changes, they each recall small little events that mean a lot to one individual and this in turn reminds their partner about it and their faces light up! It is events like where their first date was, what they did, when was their first kiss, what did they stay up all night talking about?…
This to most couples is known as the honeymoon period. To me, as their counsellor, it is an example of how they saw each other as the human beings rather than their behaviour. When you revisit the love map of your relationship it can also remind you that at one time you made time for your partner and for your relationship, maybe much more than you do at the moment.
Can you recall your Love Map?
Your love map certainly does create the foundations of your relationship, but just like any foundations, they need to be checked in on and maintained. You can maintain your love map in the present moment by playing a game with your partner. You will have some fun while also expanding and deepening your relationship. Ready to play?
Ask each other each of the following questions
- Name my two closest friends
- What was I wearing when we first met?
- Name one of my hobbies
- What is my favourite way of spending an evening?
- What stresses am I facing right now?
- What would I consider my ideal job?
Remember, it is just some fun, it is nothing to get angry or upset with your partner about. If they do not know an answer, it can be a realisation, “maybe I need to pay more attention” or “I need to enquire more about my partners day” . Remember when you first met each other, you were so excited to know the answers to all these questions about your partner. Maybe asking these question again will recreate excitement.
The article is written by Emma, newly qualified and pre-accredited Counsellor at The DMC Clinic. If you would like to discuss how any of the topics mentioned above are impacting your mental health please contact The DMC Clinic to arrange an appointment.